"Old No Go .... New Cannot Come"

This is a Chinese proverb that my dear friend (LN) taught me .. she said, if we don't let go of the old stale relationship, we cannot see the new or the person who is actually for us ... I dono how true is this proverb but it works for my wallet ....

When I got back this term, I notice that my Petshop pouch given by LN to me is quite worn out and dirty ... so, I decided to change to the other red pouch that CC bought for me when she visited Yunan 2 years back. But .. the zip of that pouch broke ... and I had to revert back using the worn out red pouch that looks really like merah jambu now ...

Anyway .... my dear sweet sensitive friend notice how worn out both my pouches are .. she decided to pick up a red Little Miss when she saw one near her house .... I am so touched because she remembered that I needed one decent pouch to use and on top of that she picked my favorite color : ang2!!!LOLz. Then, another friend noticed and said to me yesterday : "how come your pouch is getting younger and younger?" Off course la ... where got people get older and older ... LOLz ... friend here ... friend there .... m so blessed with friends in my life ....

So, now .... in my final semester ... m going round with my red Little Miss .... eeeerrrr .... waiting for my Little Men .... lolz ... 3 years in TTC, 3 punches I used .....

Thanks a lot dear for your little fine touches in my life .... :)

"Clinically OK"

I visited Ah Ming Clinic in Rail Mall yesterday evening cos I was feeling dizzy past 2 days -- the world seem to be spinning and I seemed to be floating around ... NO ... I am not drunk ..:0 Told the dr how I felt ... after checking my eyes, ears .... he certified that I am clinically OK ... there is nothing wrong with me clinically ... but harlo ... I still feel dizzy ... how do you explain that .... something is wrong with me and causing me to feel like this ..and I would like to find out ... (that why I go see the doc, right) ... I asked the dr what medication he can give me ... he said .. med for dizziness ... in my heart ... that's what I have taking in my room past 2 days right ... adui ... anyway I decided to agree to a blood test to see if any of my pallet is low or .. whatever ... it may explain the condition that I am experiencing ... at the end of the visit I paid $59 (!!!! a lot of $$$ for a student to pay) for blood test (which the result will be out in the next few days), a bottle of gastric liquid (cos I told him that my tummy feels bloated), anti-gastric pill and pills for dizziness.

When I come back, I still feel the same ... then Dr Quack Jeng came and visited me ... she korok me ... m red all over .. I felt better and she said "Ing!!!! U wasted $59 for angin??!!!" hahahha ... how I know this Javanese Dr Quack is really good ...hehhehe...

Then, when I told the Vietnamese Dr what happen ... he said "I told you so .. but you don't believe me.... and now you waste $59!" Well, he did not tell me that I am clinically OK ... except that "I don't have any pills for you this time.... you just go back and sleep for 5 days and you'll be OK!!" See la the reply I get... pengsan! I was wondering if he said this cos I warned him to give me the proper prescription cos the last time I saw him for milk rash at the corner of my mouth, the V Dr gave me cream for it and say that i will get well after I apply it -- well ... after 3 days ... I had the most kissable lips in college!!! LOL .... (off cos I know its not his fault but choose not to tell him that time .... hehehhe ....it was the explosion of kimchi-coffee milk-wasabi nuts in me while watching Baihu series!!!)

2 things come to my mind as I ponder over this little episode of my life :
1) What are the symptoms that a relationship is sick ... and needs CVR before one finally walks out or signs the divorce papers.

Today, at 3pm, my friend finally will walk to her lawyer's office to sign join petition for divorce and petition for the right for her 2 kids after 15 years of marriage. The marriage hit rocks-bottom 4 years ago and she had been hanging on to it till finally she threw in the white towel, to agree with the hub for a divorce.

2 days ago, I heard news of yet another marriage on the rocks ...

Yes, I do have to agree with Felix that the grass is always greener on the other side .. those not married is desperately wanting to get married and those married wants to get out ....

Question that looms over my mind past few days is : what does it really takes to make a relationship work? Why don't people be as responsible and as eager as they were on their wedding day and courtship time to sit down and really talk, find out what is the problem openly and work towards restoring the sick area of the relationship before one wakes up one day and realise the relationship is already at terminal stage. Lord have mercy on all those who are going through relationships that are sick .... sick physically, emotionally, physically .. Lord have mercy on them and their families ....

The grass is not greener on the other side .... its is our pasture that needs to be tended, cared,loved, watered .... pruned .. so that our pasture looks greener than the other side .... and this takes lots of energy, effort, time and sacrifice .... May God bless your hard labor in your pasture ....

2) Are we aware of the warning signs that something is not right with our relationship with God?
Are we aware of the warning signs that something is wrong with our relationship with God and if we seem the warning signs, what do we do with it?

Like our physical health, our spiritual health when sick also will have symptoms of sickness like arrogance, unteachable spirit, complaining, nagging .... victim mentality, no meaning in life, emptiness in heart, restlessness, roaming spirit, driven ... the list goes on .... Its very easy of us to live in denial or just ignore the warning signs ... but ... before the truth surfaces, let's face and deal with the truth ...

I pray that we will be sensitive to take stock of our spiritual life, our emotions, our relationships .... our life, reflect, review before our Maker and allow Him to come into our spirit, our emotions, our relationships to heal, to mend, to discipline ... to restore ..... remember, at the end of our journey, we all face the same door... the door of eternal life or eternal death .... our choice will determine which path we will take after that door .... Our Maker is waiting to lead us to His Door .... won't you let His lead you and guide ... to His pastures ... and allow Him to heal, restore, mend our tangled lives, renew our tangled mind-sets and fill us afresh with His love, peace and joy ..... no matter what situation you are in right now .... He sure loves you and cares for you .... He is our Healer :0

Pre CNY Class Gathering ... Uncle Steven's House

This is the uniqueness of my class ... every term, we will to organize outings and gatherings as a class ... just to hang out and chill ... but the our favorite type of hangout is actually in one of our classmate's home .... and we have very kind and hospitable local classmates who have opened their home to us. A tribute to David Ho, Samuel Lee, Pris .... and Dan who has opened their homes before. For CNY, Jelin, Ah Lian and Pei Yi has also open their homes. We are a "homely" batch of people ...:)

This time around, Uncle Steven offered his home to us ... his home plus sponsoring a buffet lunch for us.We felt so honored and touched by his hospitality and generosity ... he has been with us in year one till now .. but he will not grad with us because he's a part time student ... juggling a part time work that takes him to Cambodia every month, studies and ministry. Uncle Steven has a very nice double story corner lot house .... huge ... big garden with 2 fish pond - one for koi, another for guppy.

We had 2 teams leaving different time from TTC ... Susanto's team left at 930am!!! and mine 1030am (cos we are lazy) ... Susanto's team was too early ... so he had a chance to enjoy Star Bucks for the first time in his life with Bapak Rudy. My team was 30mins late ..:)

We met Lian Kor who was our guide .... he is volunteered to walk us from Tanah Merah MRT - servanthood in action cos he made few trips and also arranged the food for us ... :) ... tats our Ah Lian ... thanks Lian Kor ... another name Lian Kor identified as is Lu-Lian-Kuan .... (hehhe ... this is a private joke from the Methodist Retreat). [if you think that the Dad - Ah Lian is farni and crazy .... wait till u met his cute charming son!!!!]

It was a HOT day ... so Ah Lian .. he proudly opens his umbrella and offer it to Tu (he scare be become dark .. vain2...) .. and here Jeng and Pris went undercover in a "veil" from Fuji.

Anyway ... we arrived at the house and had great fun and mum2 .. the speciality - dried Spore laksa and their soon kueh ... their sambal also rocks! We ate to our hearts content except that our thirst was not "whole-ly" quenched.

Net2 ... as long as it comes to food and "drinks" ... our class will always be united in one agreement! Have say a HUGE thank you to all who have opened their homes to us and avail your kitchens for us to hang out, chill and makan!!!!

TTC Methodist Student Retreat

Our faithful room-mate who travels to more countries then me ............ but needs a shower .. hehehhe ..:-)


This is our final time attending Methodist Retreat ....

Every year, the Methodist Chaplain of TTC will organize a retreat for us, students and this is my 3rd time attending it ...

The first 2 years was in NATLY. The first year was organized by Angie's batch and last year was by my batch. We had great fun organizing it .... Sam was a very good leader, hard working ... pulling us and putting us, his team and the whole retreat into place. Pris was GREAT thinking of all the crazy2 games to play ... it was bashed up FUN! ..

Memories from last year & last year's organizing comm ....

This year, the experience was different .. off cos, the place is also different ... but the place where we went this year is just 5mins drive from TTC ... its very serene and quiet ... :) ... Bishop Solomon and Dr Wilfred Ho's message was smashing! Challenging!!! It's a warning .... But also encouraging ....

It's amazing how the lesson from my QT in the morning was "... service is the overflow of superbounding devotion; but profoundly speaking, there is no call to that, it is my own little actual bit and is the echo of my identification with the nature of God. God gets me into a relationship with Himself whereby I understand His call, then I do things out of sheer love for Him on my own account" (O.Chambers).

Our service (ministry) is the outcome or outpouring of our relationship, our devotion, our love and our passion for God.

I am reminded that I have to be intentional -- in my love and relationship with God. Aunty to me last Sun when I visited her that if I cannot intentionally connect myself to God and draw from Him daily ... let Him be my source .... I may as well not go into full time ministry ....

Hence, Bishop Solomon's message was a message that God had planted in my heart past whole week. I have to be intentional in my walk with the Lord. I have to intentionally keep my flame and love affair with Him burning by intentionally spending time with Him ... the enemy do not want our whole heart and life ... he wants us bit by bit ... by the time we know it ... we are already at decay stage! From personal experience, I say that the enemy will not give us poison to eat but will give us candy or chocolate to eat but inside the candy or chocolate ... its poison ... by the time we finish sucking the candy .... its already too late ... the poison already went into our blood stream .

The peak for the retreat for me (or at least Pris, Li and I) is the final "surprise" night ... we wanted to find out what was the surprise but Raymond refuse to tell us ... we threatened him that if he don't want to tell us ... we will "surprise" by not attending the session ... :0 ... but off course, we were pleasantly "surprise-ed" by him and God .... we had a solid one full hour of just worship and then intercession ... Pris, Li and I cornered the back of the room .. it was "raining heavily" at the back of the room right from the 1st song in the worship to the end ... and when Raymond asked us the pray for the nation we come from ... oooo .... it "thundered" and "stormed". I really broke down and wept for my nation .... confirmed ... I know in my heart that my time is over here ... I need to go home .. I need to go back to my country .... something is happening in my country ... I need to increase my intercession for my land ... God is visiting my nation and part of my call is to be there ... to be part of the team when revival takes place! I am coming home ..... if no one is the watch man for the home, city or country ... it who will give warning when the enemy comes to attach and to plunder the home/city/country?

"I looked for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found none. (Eze 22:30) --- I am reminded of this verse and my commitment to God few years back .....

After this time, we had a hilarious session .... oooo ..... we laughed so much till our tummy feels that its bursting .... I have to say that my cute classmate ... He's the hero man!! He is super good in imitating and acting out lecturers .... the best part is ... he gladly does it to entertain us ... and oh yes, he's also a "good" dancer ... every year sure kena go up the stage to perform! Susanto! We will always remember you ... thanks for making us laugh so much and for being so super sporting!

Li, Pris and I ended the night .. the 3 of us praying in our room and we cried again ... :0

The feeling is awesome and yet quite tiring ... from crying to laughing to crying .... but the feeling is GOOD!

Dr Wilfred Ho's profound message - what do I want to be -- a swimmer or a floater in God's sea? A swimmer is someone who swims with all his might and talent ... and floater .. is one who floats in God's sea and allow God to lead, guide and enable me to reach my final destination! Question : do I float with God or do I go around busy planning and organizing my life, the ministry ....

Guess .. this is going to be one precious memory that comes with TTC that I will keep in my heart ...

The Blessing of Books On Sale ...

Yesterday, Maria Ling brought out her collection of books to sell to the students in TTC. The books are really cheap .. sold on per page ... ie 2cents per page ... There was a variety of books on sale ... from theological books, commentaries .... missions .... Bibles etc .... though the books are 2nd hand, they are almost as good as new .....

For me .... I have enough of text books and the Lord knows the books that I need and have been eying for quite some time ....... :0 so, now, through this, I am the happy owner of John Bevere books which I have been wanting to buy but they are a little expensive in Malaysia - Bait of Satan by John Bevere .... about RM50+ per book. I bought :

a) John Bevere : Bait of Satan, A Heart Ablaze, Under Cover, The Devil's Door, The Voice of one Crying

b) Seasons under the Sun - stories of grace .. this is for my preaching collection of stories

c) All the Women in the Bible - dono why I pick this up .. well who knows ... someday I might use it and appreciate it

d) The New Inductive Study Bible - New American Standard Bible.This is another thing that I have been looking for. Sure, I have been doing a collection of different versions of Bible but this is a special purchase -- i) the fonts are friendly to my eyes ..:0 ii) I have been hearing what the King James say, The Living and NIV ..... I have been looking for another version to use as my regular Bible reading and wow .... I get this ... 2nd hand --- but the Bible ... not a single page is any marks or lines.... so it is really very very new ... the bonus ... it's a study Bible .... PTL ... I've got a new version to explore as I chew on my daily manna .....


For 8 books .... I only paid $31!

Its a blessing from God indeed ... now .. to find time to read the books! ..:0

Thanks Maria for making this blessing possible .....

Process ......Student Pass

The thing I hate most every beginning of every term is the torture of going through the terrible process of renewing my student pass - every term; ie every 6mths!!!!

The process of renewing your student pass if you are a lady student (see - Singapore is sexist and practice gender discrimination ) :

a) by the end of the semester, we are to fill in 2 forms to apply our Solar number to our school (one to submit the subjects I took previous semester and my grades, another to certify my class attendance)

b) submit to the school, the school process it and give me a new solar number

c) then we go online ... to submitted our application in .... a whole host of things to fill, and must attached soft copy of foto .. passport type .. with white background. Park it there for the ICA to process and approve. 3 semesters ago I had problem submitting my application cos the last digit of my Malaysian IC indicates that I am a Male. After 3 times applying it without any problem... now I am having this problem. Off course the last digit error is not mine. It was the error of the clerk who processed my application for IC when I was 18 yrs old (i think) but I had to pay to undo her error that messed legal and official matters in my life (like I may have problem to be legally married because my IC last digit indicates that I am a male) through my birth cert and old IC clearly indicates that I am born a female. Ai .... tats another drama altogether ...

d) We have to wait for the ICA to process the application (which is fine) but in between the time of processing and approval of the application, I need to pay processing fee online ($60 for Malaysia) and issuance fee upon approval ($30)

e) With this, I get a list of documents that I have to bring with me when I physically have to be at the ICA building to complete my application and collect my student pass. With the host of things that I need to bring is ... medical report (submission by random selection by ICA) and a most recent picture taken past 3 months... o yea ... I need to take photo in the ICA building because they need recent photos - last 3 months right ... so, every 6months, the photo I took for previous student pass is expired. (bazir $$$ again ai ....)

My challenge is the - I have go to through this process every 6 months just because I am a female and repeat payment every 6 months - my dear male classmates only need to pay once every 12mths and go through the horror of the process once in 12 months (which is fair).

f) Then comes the random medical report that I need to do. After 2 years, ICA decided that I need to submit a fresh medical report (which is fair) and now, 6months down the road, they decided to pick me up again to include my medical report .... ai .. so I have to go down Satta to do my medical check up, after the process of taking my Xray and blood test, I had to wait for an hour to see a doctor who is simply uninterested in his job to take my pressure and sign off indicting that I am OK. ai ya .... and I have to pray another $48 for this process.

Now my conclusion after 6 rounds of going though this nightmare process, I think that Spore does not welcome students because we cannot generate income into their economy and makes process difficult for lady applicants because it's their task to ensure that "unwelcome ladies" abuse this pass. Hence, I have to bear with this every 6 months ..

Yes, Singapore does not appreciate and welcome me ..... Singapore is not my home-land ..... I will be glad to go back to my "home-land", the place where the Lord had chosen in the very first place. Though my home-land looks like a mess and a circus through physical eyes, but I choose to believe that God is still at work, God works in ways that we cannot see ... let justice roll in Malaysia like a river!!!!! Shalom Malaysia!

...... Fly .... Kite ..... Fly .....

When I say that this is my final term and I really got to fully enjoy and treasure my time in TTC, never in my wildest imagination that I will get to fly kites! YES!!! KITES!!!! It was sooo super fun and funny!!!! Hahhahhaha ..... Li's msn status : "scream like xiao cha bo .. how to be gentle ... but very good feeling leh ...erm... xiao cha bo?gentle?.... K .... choose xiao cha bo .... waahhhaaa" So, u can imagine the fun and noise we had yesterday ..... It's still ringing in my ear "Run Li, run .... run Li ..... "LOL .. yes ... 2 hock-chew ladies like xiao cha bo running and screaming in the plains .... I echo Li's words --- "but very good feeling leh"

Anyway, the gang of us headed out for the Quarry Grass-Land after quick dinner ..... Tu - Dr Kite (the organizer & initiator), Li - the "gentle"one, Jeng - the "smart" one -- dont want to go at first but when hear the names of those going ....quick2 "jump"into our boat, Ah Yi - the one hail from Yale ... (any fellowship time, fun time, makan time, play time ... all want to join), Cep .. the cool one ... (steady bro ... the one who resurrected the dead bird, bring down the arrogant eagle and can fly the kite and talk on the fon at the same time" ... Candy .... the happy one (always happy when go play, shopping and eating... n off cos super happy w new camera ... one show off ... hehehe ... then left cable in Kuching ... now pix all stuck inside the camera...LOL) .... and Andreas ... the big guy (last minute join us ... but no regret right? .. n of cos .. our best photographer)

Thank God it was windy yesterday .... so, we really could fly our kite (at least one of our kites) high2 ... the feeling is AWESOME ... just to hold the string of the kite and letting it "freely" fly where the wind is blowing ... and when the wind direction change or slows down, we have to pull back the string or run to "catch" the wind (off course Tu will also come to rescue us -- "blow" some wind to us).

This is the metaphor of our lives - we are "free" to live our lives ...go to any direction where we the Spirit of the Lord is leading us ... and how do we know where the Spirit of the Lord is leading us .... we sense and discern it like how we sense the direction the wind is blowing. Like the wind, there will be evidences where it is blowing .. we can feel it, our hair will follow the direction where the wind is blowing .... But the most important thing to remember in our journey is that our life, our heart, we must be attached to God and the string must to be held and controlled by God. Then, when there is danger (where the kite may get caught among the branches) ... God will direct us to a safe place ... when the direction of wind is changing - the season of our life is change ... God draw us back closer to Him .... and re-direct us again ... when we are steady .... He will release us to soar high again .... and when our injured or hurt in our journey or when we get tangled up in living .... He will bring us to the ground to untangle us, repair, heal and restore us. Lastly, if we carry too much weight (our past, our worries, our anxieties etc) we cannot soar high, enjoy the view from high above and let our spirit soar as well.

At the end of the day .. like the kite, our Maker will draw is into Him.... draw us back ... it is then we will need to face our Maker .... and make an account of the things that we have seen, places that we have "soared" .. things that we have done ... It will be time then to completely end the season of our journey here .... and cross over to another adventure that our Maker will lead us to eternally .....

Li, this is the lesson I draw from kite flying day ...

Ah Yi said kite flying is like a relationship ..... sometimes we need to let go, sometimes we need to draw close, sometimes we need to change direction .....

"We cant repeat the time God has given us" - this is from the Big Wise Guy.

What is the lesson that you can draw from the adventure of a kite?