Anyway .. coming back to the final week in TTC .... I was suppose to clean, clear m
y room and pack up to leave ..... but instead .... I was just hang around .... dont feel like packing up .... cleaning or clearing .... I was biz going for farewell meals ... on top of it .... emo-land with "can love cannot marry mode" (as escapism perhaps ... :0) .... and off course Mom was with me ... had to entertain her bit ....I was not alone because ..... I see that Ajeng was max playing around ... happy .... going round Spore like a tourist ..... Susanto ..... also was just hanging around .... of course he needed to clear his passport first .... Tu ... hahahha .... terror .... clear ... clean and pack all within 1 day and 1 night!!!!! And the mountain of his things!!!! Can faint what he stores in his little room in 3 years!! Some of us needs to go various places in Spore to bid farewell, grieve and do closures .....
In a way .... all of us struggle to pack up and move on .... packing up just means that we really need to leave ... forever .... so, we rather not to touch our things ... for as long as we can ...
Friends ... this is just packing up .. to leave a place that have been my home past 3 years .... my thoughts goes to leaving the earth for eternity ..... how would our response be when God says that it is time for us to leave this earth and go home to Him for eternally?
Physically, Aunty is her final journey here ... its really sad and heartbreaking to see her suffer .... she said that her time is not up yet .. she still has a lot of plans and dreams to achieve here ... how could it be so? What can we do to support her? We can only standby her support her in prayer ... that God in His mercies will be gracious to her and minister to her .... reveal His great plans to her ... best plans for her .....
Michelle said that through her experience as a medical doctor, she sees a trend that Christians seems to be the ones that struggles the most when comes to saying goodbye to this world ... be it the patient or the family ... and surprisingly, the Malays seems to be the easiest group.
The golden question is : how come? We all know that this world is not our home, we are just passing through ... we accept Jesus Christ because He is able to give us life, and life eternally .... we all know that heaven is where Jesus has gone to prepare our rooms for us .... a place where we do not need sun or moon because the glory of God gives it light .. the Lord Almighty lives in it .... its a city of pure gold .... like a transparent glass .... its a place where only people who's name is in the Book of Life goes to ... (Rev 21 : 11 - 27)
Indeed this is very ironic .... how come Christians preach so much about this heaven that we will go to eternally yet when it comes to go .... we dont want to go ....
I decided to asked Mom ... what does she think of this .... why its so hard for us to bid farewell and leave this earth when it our time is up? Mom's reply .... she says .... all of us are like guests on earth ... we are here to play ... passing through various stages of it and various places we will go and play .... but when its time for us to leave, we like children playing in our friend's house or in a playground, we would like and hope to play a little longer .... leaving earth means that we will never ever get to come back and play in this playground anymore .... its eternal ... and eternally be in heaven ... we have forever .... but not here on earth .... therefore, most of us would like to "play" a little longer .... be the guest of this "home" a little longer ... cos all of us have sort of like gotten use to this playground .... and like the playground and the people and friends that we have made in this playground .....
Make sense? Yea .... I guess so .... human beings are creatures of habitats ....once we have made a place our "home"or"hiding place" ... we develop feelings and attachment to it that it is so hard for us to let go .. we are short sighted ... we can only see what is in front of us but not beyond ....
I pray that when the day comes for me to bid farewell eternally ... at any point of my journey here, I will always be ready and able to echo Paul's words and say with gladness and peace in my heart that " .. I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Tim 4:6-7)
Guess this is tent living that God has been trying to ingrain in me ... teach me over and over again for the past 20 years .... like Abraham, we are pilgrims on this earth .... and God will tell us to take down our tents, pack up and leave our familiar grounds ... to places that He will show and bring us .... for a reason and purpose that He will reveal to us if we ask Him ....
So ... I need to tell myself .... no need so susah hati .... God will provide a new tent for me and furnish my tent with the things that I need..... within a month as I go down to JB next week .... look at the bigger picture .... God's overall picture for my life ....
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