... Here I Am Lord ....

Today is a special day. 40 years ago in a little town of Sitiawan, a place called Chinese Maternity Hospital ... a baby gal was born at 1053am ... sadly, at 130pm, her maternal grandmother died on the same day ..... it was told that her father actually pillion the 9mths pregnant mother on his special Benz across Padang Astaka to the hospital ..... today that little girl is 40 ...

Yes la .... m 40 this year ... last Dec in my silent retreat, I learn to appreciate my birthdays and said that I must allow myself to celebrate the birth of my existence .... :0 ....


I woke up on this special morning with this song in my heart and :


I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard My people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin,
My hand will save.

I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear My light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.




I, the Lord of snow and rain,
I have born my peoples pain.
I have wept for love of them, They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone,
Give them hearts for love alone.
I will speak My word to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.







I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them,
My hand will save
Finest bread I will provide,
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give My life to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.




And I recall my calling .... He called me with this song in MYF camp when I was 18years old and I responded to the call ......

He reminded me of my calling in a silent retreat in PD 9 years ago through this song again .....

And in the Grad Retreat, He reminded me of my call through this song again .... just as I prepare myself to step out into His call for my life ....

During the Graduation Dinner .... our class stood up and sang this song with all our heart ... giving our pledge to the call that we have heard ..... yes .... we will go Lord, if You lead us ... we pledge to hold Your people in our hearts .....



Today, as I wake up ..... I hear my call ringing in my ear again ... yes .... it is time for me to go ... to step in ... to be used by Him .... as a tool .... vessel to reach and touch .... to carry the light ... bringing food to the hungry .... water to the thirsty .... to be the agent of change, life and hope to this broken world ....

With my call, the words that was shared by Bishop during our retreat in Ubin comes clearly to my mind ..... on 15 May 2010 .... when I step out to receive the scroll of my training in TTC, my identity changed when I receive the scroll .... I am no longer a daughter .... a sister .... an aunty ... but I am a servant of God first ..... that is my primary identity tagged with my call and scroll .... as I step in .... just like how King David was called to be the king of God's nation first and not the father to Absalom. When King David mourn 2 Samuel 18:33 but in 2 Samuel 19:5-7, Joab, his chief army ... rebuke and reminded him that his primary call and identity is the head of the nation ....


There is always a price tagged to our call .... much is given .... much will be demanded .... God cannot use a man that He has not break .....

We all have our cross to carry .... are you willing to carry it? All of us have a special call in our lives ... God has a plan and purpose for each of us .... that's our call ... do you know what is yours? Are you willing to say yes .... here I am Lord .... I will go (no matter where and no matter what) if You lead me .....