After 3 weeks of memory lane mode on past CNY, I decided to make this CNY different after I realize that how I want to make CNY celebrations and how I want to enjoy CNY all depends on my perspective of things, what and how I decide to look at things.
So, this year, I just want to spent a simple quiet CNY but one enjoying and appreciating love ones ... dont want to be too much Martha and more of Mary mode ... but lo and behold ... this CNY seem to have a very interesting twist to things as I made this decision just before I go back.
1st drama : Ma complained to backache when i arrive in Sban on Sun. We decided to send her see Dr Mon just before we leave. By the time we reached Sitiawan, we had problem waking Mom up. It was indeed a scary experience but at the same time it was also an experience that helped me to encounter a living God who answers our cries of help. I just felt that I face to face with death and God by His grace is loaning Mom to us again ... :0 ...
2nd drama : Mom's back was so bad that she could not walk and though we brought her to hospital, they do not want to admit her. Mom called all her friends and relatives to come visit her this year as it is impossible for her to visit anyone. I over heard her conversation with her longest best friend who happen to be her sister-in-law.Here it goes :
Mom : It's "raining" my side .. This time, the "rain" is quite heavy .. I can't go in to visit you.
When can you visit me?
Hahhaha ... typical Mom's conversation - they like to talk indirect .. one needs some brains or to be on the same "antena" to be able to discern what she is trying to say. "Rain" here refers to Mom's back pain.
This episode in my journey .... humbled me to realize that my life and death is in the hands of my Father in heaven. Life is really cannot be predicted. Just reminds me of few Bible truth :
a) We must not boast of our tomorrows ..... for we really do not know what a day may bring (Prov 27:1). James reminded us again on this in James 4 : 13-16.
13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.
So, we need to always have a humble attitude - knowing that just as life and death is not in our hands, our tomorrows also is not in our hands ... we really do not know fully what will happen in the day that we live in.
This reminds me of Uncle J's life principle - living in the NOW moment, not in the past or not in the future ... but the NOW moment!
b) God is God ... He will have the ultimate answer ... He decides the number of the thrown dice
"To man belongs the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue" (Prob 16:1)
In his heart a man plans his course but God determines his steps (Prov 16:9)
The lot is cast into the lap, but every decision is from the Lord (Prov 16:33)
We have to acknowledge that we our future is also in God's hands ...
This brings me to my final reflection .. therefore, how should we live? I would like to suggest that the key to living is to walk with the One who hold your life and death on earth ... as well as the One who is able to hold your hand when you cross the river Jordan .. when you cross over from physical life to eternal life / death ... He will be able to teach and help us in living our life on earth to the fullest ... He is able to help us as we face the storms of life ... He is able to help us carry our load and burdens in our journey ... like how I used to hire porter to carry my bags when I hiked up Mt Kinabalu and did the Head Hunter's Trail / Pinnacles ...
Last but not least ... this song suddenly came to my mind ... one of the songs which we love to sing so much in our MYF days :
I don't know about tomorrow;
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from its sunshine
For its skies may turn to grey.
I don't worry o'er the future,
For I know what Jesus said.
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what lies ahead.
Many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.
Every step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb;
Every burden's getting lighter,
Every cloud is silver-lined.
There the sun is always shining,
There no tear will dim the eye;
At the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains touch the sky.
I don't know about tomorrow;
It may bring me poverty.
But the one who feeds the sparrow,
Is the one who stands by me.
And the path that is my portion
May be through the flame or flood;
But His presence goes before me
And I'm covered with His blood.
So, who will you walk with? What will you say about your tomorrows ?