Yes, it was the cry of my heart, that God will indeed lead me on His path in my next stage of journey. The intent of my heart and my prayer recorded in the magazine :
“In the cross roads of life again, show me Your way, O Lord, teach me Your path and lead me to Your everlasting truth”.
The cry “Lead me, Lord!” had been even more intense as I come back to JB a week ago. Yes, God affirmed and confirmed many times past 8 months that He wants me to come back to JB. Now that I am back in JB, what is next? Only God knows … and my task and responsibility is to find out what He wants me to do, the blueprint that He has for me back home – for my life and His Kingdom at this stage.
It has not been an easy decision to come back but my principle is to obey when God calls and leads. I am willing to where He calls me to go and to do what He wants me to do. Off course one of the main struggle here was language but what Pei Yi said really gave me the breakthrough – she said, we may speak in the most eloquent language and all but if our hearts and attitudes are not right with God and man what is the use of it. To her, what’s key is our hearts and attitude as we serve before God and man. This truth came hard right on my face that I must not make language barrier as an excuse but must continue to work on my relationship with God and with man, and that my heart and conscious must be right before God and man.
To a certain extend, I thank God for placing me in Skudai Faith Methodist because it is at my weakness and great need of language that will drive me in desperation to God as my source of everything ... in ministry because the ministry is His, I am only His channel .... it is not going to be my talents, gifts ... or strength but it will be thru His that I will step in ... I will serve and thru the cracks of my brokenness and weakness, His glory will shine thru me (words given by Paul when I decided to take the step of faith to TTC).
As I look at my classmates, most of us has a weakness that drive us desperate on our knees ... like Paul ... 3 times he asked God to remove the torn in his flesh but God did not. Why? It is to continue to make us humble before God and man, to keep us constantly at the point of desperately needing Him – hence, brings us to our knees. Then, God's grace will be sufficient for us, His power is made perfect in our weakness ... :0 ... in our weakness, we cease to be God and allow God to be God cos we know we cannot anymore ....
Off course I get the pressure all the time all around me -- yes yes ... I must really learn to speak Mandarin ... pray in Mandarin ... preach in Mandarin ..... lead in Mandarin ... worship in Ma
ndarin … the best ... read Mandarin (off course I will by God's grace .. and if He wills) .... Lord have mercy ... I also need time wat .... how to read Mandarin overnight? I am already struggling picking up spoken. I am not really expecting myself to read but if I can express myself and God's words well in Mandarin, I am already happy and very very grateful. It's already a miracle for me ..... and I am sure that those who know me will agree .... it is only God who will make me learn Mandarin and be in a Chinese environment … only God … to a normal mind – I am crazy! I feel like Jesus is speaking the same words He spoke to Peter to me : you will be lead to go places you do not want to go… given a choice, I don’t think I will choose to be in such environment...crazy ah ....
Lead me on Lord ..... and let Your grace be sufficient for me ... Your power be made perfect in my weakness. Sam asked last week if it is a mismatch that I am going back to a full flash Chinese church or it is truly God's direction for me ... in my heart - I am confident that this is where God wants me to be ... for now .....
So, what does my mentors and teachers has to say about this?
To pray, “Lead me Lord” is literally asking for trouble, for Jesus never promised a path of roses or one filled with applause or accolades. Instead, He said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take u
p his cross daily and follow me” (Lk. 9:23) and “any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple” (Lk. 14:33). To pray “Lead me, Lord” is not to say “Le
ad me, Lord, on the safe and comfortable path I have chosen” but rather “Lead me, Lord, on your path, and give me grace
to walk on it no matter what.”
When the Lord reinstated Peter into ministry, He told him that others will “lead you where you do not want to go” and then commanded him, “You must follow me” (Jn. ,22). To have to go where you do not want to go is never easy. But to commit yourself to follow Jesus is to be willing to go where He goes, through the cross and the empty tomb. The prayer “Lead me, Lord” can only be prayed effectively if it is accompanied with dying to self. As Origen said, “Those who have not denied themselves cannot follow Jesus.”
Bishop Dr Robert Solomon
Prayer by Lorraine Kimble : “ Lord Jesus, I will go where you want me to go. I will say whatever you want me to say. And I will do whatever you want me to do…. Help me to have the courage to follow you wherever you lead. I want to be obedient”
There will be challenges and there will be difficulties but remember - God will be right there with you. He will not lead you through rough terrains without providing you with a pair of good shoes nor will He forsake you before the journey is complete.
Bishop Terry Kee
“Keep close and be focused on Christ and Him crucified” (1 Cor 2:2) … be of comfort, He not only leads but also He perfects (Heb 12:12). Let Him lead!
Bishop John Chew
"Those who pray this prayer will no doubt encounter difficulties. They will no doubt face many struggles, many of which are the result of the conflict between their prideful ambitions and the will of God. But those who live this prayer will experience the joy of service. As they live surrendered lives they will be constantly surprised by the grace and love of the One who called them."
Dr Roland Chia
To utter authentically ‘Lead us, Lord’ is to be truly humble, for it acknowledges that we cannot proceed on the basis of our own resources, talents or experience. We can never say, ‘Been there, done that, and the decision’s a breeze’. Such complacent words are often the prelude to a mighty failure. God’s ways are always higher than our ways.
Dr Tan Kim Huat
“Lead Us, Lord!” This is essentially a prayer, a supplication to God to guide you to the place he wants you to be. It is also an expression of submission – you consent to forgo your own plans and dreams to
Dr Leow Theng Huat
Where will you be led, and where will you go?
May the Spirit of God lead you and may you always follow, whether beside refreshing streams of water or through dry barren deserts. And may you always trust that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28).
Dr Gordon Wong
To pray the prayer, "Lead, O Lord", is to relinquish control over where one should go and how one should go about getting there. It is, in short, a decision to desist from our natural impulse to determine direction and destination.
And why not, considering our Lord's proven and impeccable record in leading his people?
Dr Mark Chan
"… as disciples who follow the Lord, a day will not pass without you interceding, ‘Lead us, Lord."
So, am I on the wrong track in my journey? Is it a mismatch? Off course NOT! I am exactly where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do! There is always a cost in following Jesus, a cross to carry – for my, my cost is dying to self and my cross that I need to carry on my ‘Calvary road’ is language ..... Someday soon will come I will experience resurrection in the area!
Meanwhile, to all those in the same situation as I am ..... be strong in the Lord ... the God who had called you will be faithful till the end and will surely enable you!